Greek Traditions Community

40 days at home after baby?

1 - 10 of 10 Posts
C

CarrieKaterina

New member
Hello,

I'm Italian-American, married to a great Greek boy and expecting our first child in August of this year! My husband's family is wonderful but very traditional and "old school" as my husband puts it. Recently, my. mother in law told me that after I have the baby I have to stay home with the baby for 40 days and not leave the house until his 40 day blessing!! I'm all for tradition but no-one can really explain to me WHY we would do this? My OB told me I would have to take the baby in for a checkup at 2 weeks and I'll have follow-ups as well so how is this even possible? After a year in lockdown I don't want to be trapped indoors for over a month, but also want to respect my in-laws culture.

Anyone know the roots of this tradition and how important it truly is? Is this a battle I pick to fight?
 
  • Like
Reactions: StamatiaMaria and nadellii
I never did this with either of my boys. Just by going to a doctors appointment you are already going out so what's the point :) But, in terms of the 'why' and origin, I have heard it's to avoid the evil eye. Staying in for the 40 days until the baby's blessing is supposed to protect you and the baby from the mati.

I personally don't consider these a non-negotiable tradition and most of my friends did not do it.

Good luck and congrats!!!!
 
  • Like
Reactions: CarrieKaterina, StamatiaMaria and nadellii
Congratulations!! I haven't heard about this, but I googled it and apparently it's common in other cultures as well. https://elenigage.com/fabulous-at-40-days/ Hopefully they don't pressure you too much and you don't do anything that you're not comfortable with
 
  • Like
Reactions: CarrieKaterina, StamatiaMaria and paharo45
I'm Armenian and we do this too, it's a time for the woman to rest and make sure that she's being taken care of and not putting too much stress on her body. It's a little archaic lol, but I think some parts of it are valuable
 
  • Like
Reactions: StamatiaMaria
It's the non scientific way of people recognizing that a new mother needs the time, space and focus for her body to heal, to bond with her baby, to deal with the the trauma of breastfeeding, and to allow the baby's immune system to develop a bit more before meeting the hoards of people wanting to snuggle him/her. People came up with 40 days kind of arbitrarily and to give it credence, attached a religious meaning to it. It's a time for new mom and her baby to be pampered-- and relieved of all other household chores (that's the silver lining). I did it, more or less, for all my kids, because I was able to and I wanted to (be pampered), and to make Yiayia happy. But I also had the support from my mom who slaved over me and the newborn by cooking, cleaning and taking care of my other children, etc. It's not meant to feel like a punishment, but it can if you feel pressured and judged. Being a new mom is so hard (lack of sleep, pain from breast feeding, hormones), sometimes all you need is some fresh air and to get away from others to get your mojo back. Admittedly, after about 10 days, I started taking the baby out for walks in a covered stroller. And when I needed to run errands or felt like I needed some normalcy like getting to a restaurant with a friend, grandparents told me "you go, but baby stays here". Personally, I welcomed getting away from the baby for an hour or two. If your in laws are willing to help you, milk it! If they are not nearby, what they don't know, won't hurt them. Do what you need to do to preserve your mental health, I hope you have all the support and understanding you need from your extended family. Good luck!
 
  • Like
Reactions: axariotisxy
CarrieKaterina said:
Hello,

I'm Italian-American, married to a great Greek boy and expecting our first child in August of this year! My husband's family is wonderful but very traditional and "old school" as my husband puts it. Recently, my. mother in law told me that after I have the baby I have to stay home with the baby for 40 days and not leave the house until his 40 day blessing!! I'm all for tradition but no-one can really explain to me WHY we would do this? My OB told me I would have to take the baby in for a checkup at 2 weeks and I'll have follow-ups as well so how is this even possible? After a year in lockdown I don't want to be trapped indoors for over a month, but also want to respect my in-laws culture.

Anyone know the roots of this tradition and how important it truly is? Is this a battle I pick to fight?
Click to expand...
Well, I never heard this one! All 4 of my grandparents were from Greece, and no such tradition was ever mentioned to me.
 
TatianaS said:
I never did this with either of my boys. Just by going to a doctors appointment you are already going out so what's the point :) But, in terms of the 'why' and origin, I have heard it's to avoid the evil eye. Staying in for the 40 days until the baby's blessing is supposed to protect you and the baby from the mati.

I personally don't consider these a non-negotiable tradition and most of my friends did not do it.

Good luck and congrats!!!!
Click to expand...
Ah, the "mati". I would think mother and baby would still be susceptible to the mati after 40 days too. We know, from My Fat Greek Wedding, to spit at people not to "matiasi" us. However, we know the biggest deterrent would be to wear our cross.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: CarrieKaterina and StamatiaMaria
I tried to do this with my first born but lasted 7 days. It was summer, the weather was beautiful and I felt trapped :)
Luckily my parents and in-laws weren't too opinionated on this particular topic!
 
  • Like
Reactions: CarrieKaterina and axariotisxy
StamatiaMaria said:
I tried to do this with my first born but lasted 7 days. It was summer, the weather was beautiful and I felt trapped :)
Luckily my parents and in-laws weren't too opinionated on this particular topic!
Click to expand...
If you're giving birth in the summer I would say going outside would do you some good! Fresh air and some vitamin D can really cheer you up! I would recommend you stay away from other people though, your immunity might be low and you want to be careful because of covid.
 
  • Like
Reactions: CarrieKaterina
TatianaS said:
I never did this with either of my boys. Just by going to a doctors appointment you are already going out so what's the point :) But, in terms of the 'why' and origin, I have heard it's to avoid the evil eye. Staying in for the 40 days until the baby's blessing is supposed to protect you and the baby from the mati.

I personally don't consider these a non-negotiable tradition and most of my friends did not do it.

Good luck and congrats!!!!
Click to expand...
Thanks we are super excited! I'm sure it's the mati it seems like everything is somehow rooted in the mati with my in-laws haha
 
1 - 10 of 10 Posts
You must log in or register to reply here.

JOIN THE DISCUSSION AND READ OTHER GREEK INFO:

Learning about hospitality in Greece

I was trying to explain to some non-Greek friends about hospitality in Greece. I feel like it's next level, but how do you explain it?

Could anyone help me explain any of the following:
  • Traditional welcome gestures in Greece
  • Common household customs when visiting a Greek home
  • Etiquette for showing appreciation to Greek hosts
  • Any specific do's and don'ts that a foreigner should be aware of

Greek Easter Family Traditions

I am curious what your family traditions are for Greek Easter. I know lent hasn't even started yet, but I've started doing some planning to make sure my family has all of its traditions all set. Sometimes it takes me a while to find ingredients for some of the foods I serve, etc.

Of course we spend Holy Week in church. We do our best to fast during Lent, and once Easter comes, it's all about serving our traditional dishes. This year I might spend part of lent in Greece to visit some religious sites.

What do you guys all do?

When does Orthodox lent start this year?

I noticed our Easter is late - May 5th - but Western Easter is at the end of March. Has Lent already started for them? When does our Lent start?

This year, I plan to do a stricter Lenten fast, so I want to plan some things out in advance.

Lent is a time for introspection, repentance, and spiritual growth. Through the dedicated practice of fasting, prayer, and charity, believers seek not only to grow closer to God but also to better understand themselves in relation to God’s will.

What is kefi exactly?

I have always found the concept of kefi to be intriguing, and I would like to learn more about it from those familiar or even vaguely aware of this notion. From what little I understand, kefi seems to embody a unique blend of joy, spirit, and passion, deeply ingrained in Greek culture. It's more than just a word; it's a lifestyle, a form of expression, an unbridled enthusiasm for life.

However, I'm curious to know about the deeper nuances and applications of kefi. How does kefi manifest in day-to-day life, not just in Greece, but wherever one might find joy and enthusiasm? Is it something that can be consciously cultivated, or does it spontaneously bloom in moments of happiness and high spirits? It seems like it really permeates the culture, especially in Greece.

Greek family customs - Personal related

Hi there. Not sure if this is the right forum, but I've got some personal issues with my family. My brother in law (73) is Greek. His wife (my sister) is not. They have a daughter (34) (my niece) that "sides" more with the Greek culture.

My niece has never left home, and has never paid rent or paid for food. She's been mostly jobless although she has worked a few jobs here and there. My sister is fed up with it, but when she confronts my BIL, he says "Greeks don't do that". And what he is implying (I guess) is that Greeks take care of their family in this way.

My BIL had a stroke many years ago and his health is declining rapidly. I am advocating for an attendant to come into the house every day and get him dressed, showered, make him meals, etc. My sister is 73 and she can't physically handle this. She also doesn't want to devote every waking moment to keeping an eye on him. When she suggests an attendant, again, "Greeks don't do that".

Now I'm pretty sure this is all BS, but would love to get some input from any Greek people in this forum.
Share and discuss Greek traditions related to Greek weddings, christenings, dance & holidays!

WorldwideGreeks.com is a free online forum community where people can discuss Greek food, travel, traditions, history and mythology.
Join Worldwide Greeks here!

JOIN COMMUNITY FOR FREE

LOGIN TO YOUR ACCOUNT
Back
Top